Pity kisses
by Misura
Summary: Can a relationship be built on pity? Or is that just as much an illusion as love? [SetoHonda[for a challenge]
1. Honda

Pity kisses

Warnings/notes : Seto/Honda, hints at Seto + Joey, Honda + Otogi and Otogi/Joey, Honda pov.

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. 

written at 22nd december 2003, by Misura

Aren't I lucky? I took up 'I luv Kai''s random-weird-pairing-challenge and I got *these* two. So now I can only pray my Joey-muse will ever forgive me for taking away his Seto-kun ... ^^;

Warning : language

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Pity.

Can you build a normal, healthy relationship based on that single emotion?

Even if it's one-sided?

One year ago, I would have said 'no'. I would have rambled about True Love and how something purely physical could never last.

No matter how mind-blowing the sex is, without Love, it isn't worth a thing.

Yeah. I was quite the oaf then, wasn't I?

Truth is, I *am* having a relationship centered around those two things -pity and sex, that is.

And it's damn good. Half of the time, I could almost forget it isn't really *him* that I want.

The other half, I don't give a damn. Because he picked someone else and that's that.

End of story, no happy ending for all concerned. Drop of the curtains, show's over, nothing left to see.

Move on.

Except that he just happened to pick my best friend.

Now, I'm not the jealous type. You ain't going to see *me* dump my best bud simply because some guy I happen to have a major crush on fancies him.

Still, I can't say it was exactly *easy*, watching the two of them.

Neither of them has ever cared much for keeping their feelings a secret.

Gods, and we were thinking Ryou and that yami of his were bad!

They were a pair of chaste saints, compared to what Joey and Otogi dared in public.

Yes, I was talking about them. Don't look so surprised. Any guy who allows another guy to dress him up in a dog-costume doesn't do that kind of stuff because he *hates* that other guy's guts, you know.

I should have seen it ages ago.

Stupid me. 

They say misery loves company though.

It's true.

I wasn't the only stupid one, you see, not the only one too shy or blind to make a move before it was too late.

A pity.

Looking back, it could have been so perfect. 

Instead of the way it is now, with them together and us alone. Kind of.

I wonder sometimes why I did it, why I took that first step.

After all, he's not exactly the kind of person that's easy to approach.

He didn't love me, like he did with Joey.

He didn't taunt me, like he did with Joey.

He fucked me, like he couldn't do with Joey.

I'm just his substitute, to be dumped in a second at a single word from my best pal.

That sounds pretty ugly, but I guess the truth can be like that.

No one ever said this world was a cute, nice place.

Of course, there's *my* side of the story as well.

Like I said, I did make the first move.

I wasn't in love with him, like I was with Otogi.

I wasn't stuttering whenever he got near, like I was with Otogi.

I wasn't rejected by him, like I was by Otogi.

I offered, he said yes and there we were.

No doubt, there are moments when I almost like him. 

Apparently even Seto Kaiba can't be a total bastard all the time.

So maybe it's not that weird that I was feeling sorry for him.

What is it they say, that the higher they stand, the deeper they fall?

It definitely goes for Kaiba.

Years and years of being an arrogant jerk, looking down on us poor simple people and then seeing the one person he'd actually have stepped down for walk off with someone else.

Oh, I don't think he'd have really changed much if Otogi hadn't snapped up Joey.

Just enough to keep him.

Pity.

Does he feel it for me?

Do I feel it for him?

Should I?

Should he?

Man, it's too late for thoughts like these.

Excuse me while I go kick a certain CEO back awake for some meaningless sex. 

And mind-blowing, of course.

That's the whole point of this affair after all.

~to be concluded in the second part~


	2. Seto

Pity kisses

Warnings/notes : Seto/Honda, hints at Seto + Joey, Honda + Otogi and Otogi/Joey, Seto pov.

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. 

written at 23rd december 2003, by Misura

I can't believe *thirteen* people reviewed and actually *liked* this pairing and fic! ^^; Thank you very much :

… Mimiheart : Thank you very much. I mainly like Honda for saving Mokuba, really. ^^; 

… JuniperMoon : Well, I am a Seto/Jou-person at heart. Though I agree about Otogi deserving more lines. ^^; Thank you! (No real ending I'm afraid)

… I luv Kai : Why should one person win your challenge? I mean, the pairings you handed out are all different, so … *shrugs* Anyway, thanks for the challenge and don't worry about my Joey-muse too much. You know how puppies are ; all barking and no biting. ^^; Glad to hear you liked it!

… Yami) White Rain : Thank you.

… hieiandkuramalover : Actually, this pairing has been done before, though I forgot by whom. -_-; Glad to hear you didn't hate it!

… Kaira-chan : Thank you for the plushie! Now I can huggle Mokuba without getting whacked by Seto! ^^; And don't be so degrading about your lovely Yami/Mahado-faerietale! ^-^;

… Romennar : Thank you! You said the magical word so …

… Random Thoughts : Thank you!

… Suppis Tenshi : *coughs and blushes* Uhm, nothing happens, really. This chapter's just Seto's view on things. Thank you very much! ^_^

… Kiawna : oh … (hopes that's not a sign of intense hatred to me for having written this) ^^;

… Sapphire Rains : Glad to hear you liked it!

… DarkShadowFlame : Well, I'm just pretty frozen in my Seto/Jou-ness (the other characters are easier to play around with I think ^^;) but yes, *one* time's fun. So … willing to take up the challenge too? You can find it at I luv Kai's ff.net profile-page. Thank you! ^_^

… Lemon-Merengue : Sorry, this fic's not happy. (But my other fics are!) *coughs* Sorry, didn't mean to plug. ^^;

* 

Warning : language, (you did see this was Seto's chapter, didn't you? *points at notes*)

**********

Kisses.

He's quite good at giving those.

I'm sure he's had more practice at them than I have.

Oh, I know a thing or two about kissing too. It's quite amazing what one can find on the Internet.

Complete with pictures and pointers, for people like me who have, what's that charming term again? 'never been kissed'.

Like I'd have wanted to be.

Well, there was that one person. The mutt. The loser. The 'I'd have more of a challenge playing solitaire than playing against *you*' duelist.

Him, I wouldn't have minded.

In fact, he was the reason why I did all that research.

Because I sure wasn't going to let him best me in anything.

Relationships are never based on equality after all, and I wanted to make sure I'd be his superior in this, as I was in everything else.

Make sure I'd be 'on top', so to speak. 

He never knew.

He never will know either.

I'd rather kill myself than face him knowing he knows.

Even I have my limits when it comes to courage born from pure stubbornness.

Though my walls are crumbling a little every day when I see that pretty boy getting all over him.

Not my heart. I don't have one. But my defenses, the things that allow me to walk with a straight spine and my head high ... those are slowly falling apart.

Yes, I am a bad loser. There, I admit it.

There are days when I would sell my soul to have Ryuuji Otogi removed from this earth's surface.

There are days when I am sure I can't face another dawn waking up all alone. Or next to Honda, for that matter.

Good old Honda. 

Who got himself all worked up for Otogi, only to have him pick the only person who always seemed to loathe him for a lover instead. His best friend too.

I sometimes wonder who's the biggest loser.

And then I watch Otogi french-kiss Joey, right in the middle of science-class and I know.

It's me.

Honda told me he loved me last night.

Well, no big deal you'd say. Surely a declaration of love doesn't get to the great Seto Kaiba?

You're right. It didn't, not in the way that I went mushy all of a sudden or something like that.

He's nothing but an idiot. I'd get rid of him at once if I could have ...

But I can't. And there's the problem.

Honda, apparently, has moved on.

Otogi prefers someone else? Fine, then he'll just go and find another lover.

No hard feelings, still best pals, see you around ... congrats on your anniversay.

I, for some reason, seem to lack that ability.

To give up, call it quits, admit defeat.

It's just not an option. I want *him* and nobody else is going to do.

Nobody else is like him.

Man, that sounds almost like I'm in love with that mutt!

Which I'm not. 

There is only one person in this world whom I'll admit to having such irrational feelings as 'love' for and the pup isn't that person.

What I feel for him *is* irrational, yes. I will go that far.

But it's not a mushy urge to protect him. To tear apart anyone who touches him or looks at him the wrong way, yes. Not for his sake, for mine.

I wish to possess him, to claim him for my property.

Perhaps he sensed that, somehow. Perhaps that was what made him accept Otogi.

That'd be better than him not feeling anything about me at all, in a way, even if it makes no difference in the present.

At least it'd mean there is something between us. 

Something ugly and hurtful, for it might be argued that my desire would destroy him in the end, but still ...

No kisses.

Not what I share with Honda, a mindless, heartless thing.

As long as it's all I have though, I guess it's not that bad.

At least I'm not so cold at night anymore.

~OWARI~


End file.
